"My students are like sponges, I swear to god.  ....  Mostly, the women want to write about themselves, and it helps them, you know?  Gives them wings, so that they can rise above the confounding maze of their lives and, from that perspective, begin to see the patterns and the dead ends of their pasts, and a way out.  That's the funny thing about mazes: what's baffling on the ground begins to make sense when you can begin to rise above it, the better to understand your history and fix yourself".  

... "Still, I hope the book advances the notion that power must be used responsibly and mercifully, and that we are all responsible for one another.  These things I believe: 
~ That, as James Baldwin once put it, 'People who treat other people as less than human must not be surprised when the bread they have cast on the waters comes back to them, poisoned.'
~ That wars, because of the terrible cost they exact, are never won.
~ That love is stronger than hatred."

from Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed

facebook post - 10/11/12

So you want to know what's on my mind, Facebook? I was just now thinking how sad the world can be for those that are lonely, bitter and/or angry. I was thinking that the sadness/loneliness/bitterness/anger impacts all of us, either directly or indirectly (ex: my impatience toward a client because of his rude behavior). It turned into compassion today when I heard a tiny piece of his story. This realization led me to wonder about larger examples when we affect each other so much ... families ... families ... communities ... wars. Don't these all start with a tiny seed of negative emotion, take root, and sometimes grow into humongous, nasty, toxic wars? WHAT IF EVERYONE HOLDING A WEAPON INVOLVED PUT IT DOWN AND PICKED UP A TOOL INSTEAD.?. Everyone, everywhere, would have houses and food ... and probably less sadness, loneliness, bitterness, anger ... and more friends. That's what is on my mind.

So I just had a moment of reconciliation with myself. If you care to read, this will take just a bit to explain.

Spence and I saw a man at a Taco Bell drive-through the other day ... just sitting, no sign, not bothering anyone, didn't even speak to anyone, just looking hungry. Because I was grumpy that day, because he made me uncomfortable, perhaps feeling a bit guilty that I didn't help buy him a taco, and because sometimes I get tired of people asking for handouts I told the staff. They made sure he was "removed".

It's been bothering me since. He wasn't hurting anyone. He was just hungry.

Today I saw a different man in front of SaveMart. As I did my shopping I purchased a few things for him, but when I left he was gone. Walking to my car, I literally cross paths with the man from Taco Bell. I was able to share some groceries with him and feel much better about myself and my earlier ill feelings.

He said, "lingu" (thank you). I said, "you're welcome" and went on with my day feeling a bit lighter and brighter.

Barry: "You're either a duck ... or you're not a duck"
Shelley: "Well, I'm not a duck"

:o)

Life is messy. When you can, clean it up. When clean-up is not possible immediately, stay close to friends who don't mind hanging around in your muck a while. Life, even in the midst of muck, is beautiful.

men loved by God

"Barak Obama is not evil personified; Mitt Romney is not a godless pagan. Both are men loved by God, men with significant accomplishments, and men who deserve the highest regard that we (Christians) owe to those in authority" ~ thank you Pastor Jim Holm

:o)

Each morning when I rise ...

Each morning when I rise ... if I remember to look ... I see grace eagerly awaiting to greet me with a fresh, new dose of its nourishing, healing presence. It is there in each moment during each day, in every smile, in every decision, no matter how large or how small. And it shows up to soften my pillow every single night. Sometimes I forget. Then I remember ... and life just gets so much more beautiful. 

Thanks to you, Grace

grateful & hopeful

Setting: 180 W about 30 minutes ago. A terrible 3-car crash, two vehicles pretty bad most likely with minor injured drivers, one flipped upside down.

Humanity, at its best, immediately swung into action. About a dozen men, some construction workers, some from their vehicles, showed up with tools from random trunks, using tire irons as crow bars trying to free the passenger(s) of the flipped vehicle.

Humanity, at its worst, in the truck directly behind me: Crazy man yelling, "F. F. F. The whole f-ing highway!?!?! You gotta take up the whole f-ing highway? Come on, m-f-ers!!" This continued for some time and I simply could not, could NOT, hold my tongue. I calmly (seriously, I was quite calm) walked to his vehicle and informed him, just in case he couldn't see what was happening up ahead, that there were passengers pinned and people were trying to help. Crazy man: "I KNOW, but the whole f-ing highway!?!?! Look at all these people!!! Everybody's gotta be a f-ing hero". I said, I mean I shouted, "YES! Thank goodness!" and walked back to my car. What I said didn't make an inkling of difference to crazy man. But it did to me, realizing my heart was substantially more grateful & hopeful this morning ... despite crazy man's lack of empathy/sympathy/compassion/human-ness.

just one thing

Sometimes I go to Target for just one thing ... just to prove that I can do it without getting distracted by all the stuff that wants to jump into my basket, my life.  It's very liberating. :o)

Twelve Steps ...

Just started reading Karen Armstrong's Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life.  I'm hooked already and I'm still reading the preface.

Charter for Compassion:

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.



We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.

Music to my ears.

perspective ...

"Let yourself be drawn by the strange pull of what your really love. It will not lead you astray."                                 ~ Rumi

Today I'm giving in to the pull.
I'm working on a small art project and picking out a design for my next stained glass. :o)

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death." 


Dr. Martin Luther King

What I live for:

Well, it's been a while. Think I'll come back for a bit.

The following short story is an example of what I live for:

Spencer - "Mom, can you bring up the clutch from my high hat? ... like in the next 20 minutes?"

Mom - "OK". Only in my head it sounds like this, "Good thing I'm home right now, and that the school is only 5 minutes away, and that I'm not busy (mumble, mumble)."

Go to the music room, wrestle for a good 7 minutes or so with a high hat cymbal, stand, and what I think is the clutch attached for your foot at the bottom (in process, banged into the wall, smashed my finger, dropped my glasses then stepped on them). But this makes sense, right? A clutch should be for your foot. Finally I lug the whole contraption in to the school office where he has said he'll meet me. I see him walking by and not stopping, so I lean my head out to yell at him ... leaned I guess just a little too far because the door closed on me and I locked myself out. The office staff rescued me with a patient, "It's all right, ma'am".

Spencer joins me, sees the delivered package and looks at me incredulously, saying, "You brought the WHOLE thing?"

Mom - "Well, I couldn't figure out how to get the clutch off" as I'm pointing to it.

Spencer - Chortling, he tells me that what I'm pointing to is, in fact, a pedal. He then simply lifts up a cymbal, disattaches the clutch (which is nowhere near your foot), says "THIS is the clutch" and starts to walks away. Still chortling.

I remind him ever so kindly to say thank you, mom, while sticking out my tongue at him (like any other mature 47 year old mom who's just been embarrassed in front of the office staff).

He turns around, smiles that adorable disarming smile, and gives me a hug.

This is what I live for. Sooooo worth every minute!!

wisdom from Père Henri of Chocolat

"I do not know what the theme of my homily today ought to be. Do I want to talk about the miracle of our Lord's divine transformation? Not really, no. I don't want to talk about His divinity. I'd rather talk about His humanity. I mean, you know, how He lived His life here on earth. His kindness, His tolerance...Listen, here's what I think. I think we can't go 'round measuring our goodness by what we don't do, what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think we've got to measure goodness by what we embrace, what we create, and who we include."

Is your doctrine kind?

I don't know who said this, but it pretty much hits the nail on the head ...

"The day your heart is kinder than your doctrine, rest assured it's not your heart that is wrong."