an open letter to a friend

I struggle immensely with the idea of such a small percentage of God's created people being "allowed" into heaven, with the rest "condemned" forever. It has never ... and will never ... sit well with my soul. I simply have to trust that God's plan is for our best and that God does know what God is doing ... and that perhaps someday I will know fully, but for now I see but a poor reflection. I do find that I cannot teach/preach/share, etc. the theology and dogmatic, traditional, fundamental ideas that were imparted to me. They have never brought life to me, have never felt like good news to me, and actually do not ring fully true to me. I do hope this doesn't scare you ... at least not as much as it does some of my relatives! ... but I cannot be "silent about things that matter" to me anymore (as Martin Luther King, Jr. said).

You might wonder why you are the recipient of my thoughts. Quite frankly, I do too! Perhaps you are safe so many miles away.?. I think it is because of something you said to me (or at least the way I thought I heard it!) many years ago when I was beginning to "grow up" to my questions and look my doubts straight in the eye. I thought you said that you weren't convinced that Jesus was the only path leading to God. It could have been what I wanted to hear ... I would never want to quote you incorrectly.

I do believe that Jesus' WAY is the way to freedom, peace, and an abundant life, but I am unsure that this "ticket" that one receives when saying the "sinner's prayer" is all there is to it. What I understand is that in mainstream Christianity we are taught that if we don't have that ticket, there is nothing but torment for us. I also believe that people, in the name of other religions, follow Jesus' ways, perhaps without ever uttering his name.

I am somewhat bothered about the way I was spoon-fed beliefs, and wasn't encouraged to ask questions and listen to the Holy Spirit myself. At the same time, I am filled with hope that I know that I know God does love the world, that God is full of grace and his mercies are endless. If they are endless, that says to me that there is hope for everyone to be in God's presence forever.

Anyway ... I always wanted to discuss this at length with you and [your husband]. Maybe because I didn't get, or take,the opportunity with [your husband] I feel a certain urgency to converse with you about this. Please feel no pressure!! I feel like I have opened the floodgates ... and if you don't want to bob along with me it is no problem. I also recognize that this can be a difficult conversation via e-mail.